How I came to appreciate fart

Well, scientifically I know how important fart is and its God-ordained purpose. But, deep down my core, I did not really value it as it has compromised my reputation, my name, and my dignity for several times already! Several days ago, life has taken it out that led me on how I came to appreciate fart.

It comes out whenever and wherever it wants without considering the people I am with!

There was an instance when I and my former colleague were discussing some serious topics, I was about to brilliantly expound on my idea when that full-fledged, loud-ass fart unexpectedly escaped from my behind!

Shucks! What a traitor! What do I do?

I picked up my phone and pretended that someone texted me and that “sound” was my message tone. Lol. But apparently, she knew that I passed gas so she just laughed so hard. (I hate you, girl! Lol)

I was also in a meeting with big bosses when that disgusting fart-smell, inaudible fart came out.

For the love of gods, why now?

They started to cover their noses discreetly and I graciously covered mine too just like everyone else. Para-paraan lang yan, gurl! They had no inkling that I was the culprit (or maybe they had? Lol).

But two weeks ago, I ate like there was no tomorrow. I devoured meat, egg, pizza, pasta, junk food. I ate everything and forgot that I have a snail-paced metabolism because fud iz layf.

For four days, I felt so bloated! No fart would come out. The spoiled brat gas that used to love getting out of that hole was missing in action! I also had a hard time breathing. I felt that my tummy was so big and heavy, like Baymax’s.

I googled for remedies. I took medicine.
Nothing happened.

I ate fruits and vegetables.
Nothing happened.

I lessened my food intake.
Nothing happened. The fart was still missing in action!

I drank tea and drinks with probiotics sprinkled with prayers.
Gentle puff. It finally came out.

Thank you. I missed you.

You know that cliched expression — you get to appreciate what you have when you lose it?
Darn! I did not expect that I would feel that for fart.

I don’t know, I guess we have already made up because it has not left me yet again.

I would thank Him whenever I fart, whatever form it comes in.

It also served as my reminder that I should be taking my health seriously because I am not getting any younger.

You see, life is very funny. It teaches and makes us realize valuable lessons through hard and bizarre ways. It is up to us if we will heed it or neglect it.